Saturday, February 03, 2007
Dear Lord,please help me. i feel lost. i noe i have so many wonderful people around me. but i juz dunno why i feel this way. :( why do i keep letting them down? why do i keep letting myself down? i noe wat are my flaws. i noe most of the things tat makes me a not very nice person. but why can't i haf the determination to right all of those things?
please lord..
give me the determination. help me. give me my sense of self. give me whatever moral values i haf left.
maybe it's cuz my mind goes into over-drive everytime. den please guide me. help me noe wat is right and what is wrong. and even when i do noe what is wrong, make me strong enough to right it.
why cant i be a nicer person?
why cant i be someone tat everyone can depend on?
why cant i be a faithful person?
why must i hurt the people i care abt?
why do i do things without thinking?.
why am i so self-centred?
i am very thankful for the people in my life. all the lovelies:) my family.
do look after them. as much as i love them and wish tat i could always be there for them, it's something tat i can't do very well. so do please look after every single one of them from where u are. :)
with love,
lou:)
okaes. i'm feeling slightly happier now. :)
tat's the beautiful power of saying a prayer.
it makes u feel better.
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hmm. choon-sie was talking to me abt relationships.
i'm pretty much a let-down in relationships.
yeahs. suree. i love to haf a long-term relationship.
but.. i dun trust myself to haf one.
it makes me sad to noe that.
but it hurts more when u decide u really want to try, with the person u really liked.
but that special person didn't trust u when u said "i want to try."
and though u noe tat u could really put ur heart into tat relationship,
and really make things work, really see urself wif that special one,
the special one juz walks away.
the one to blame really, is myself.
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haha. oh my. i'm sucha an emo potato.
must be the emo songs i'm listening to.
oh yes.
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*To gabriel:
hey bum. i'm really sorry if i seemed angry. i tink it was the lack of sleep. but i guess i shldnt haf taken it out on u. i'm sorry ok? u're still my frenchie mate. and soon-to-be jappie mate. loves:)
Y 1:57 AM
