i haf to vent my fustrations somewhere.and it's gonna be here. am i ready for any relationships now? i mean, definitely i WANT one, cuz to haf the feeling tat someone is there for u and all. a special person.but am i READY for one?and even if i am ready, are u gonna be the one?yeahs. u do hold a special place in my heart.but i can't possibly imagine how u could use someone to tat extent.how u could be soo mean to her.i noe u haf ur reasons.but the reasons u told me sound like bullshit. i'm serious.if u didnt want a patch, why couldnt u just tell her no?what EXACTLY is the logic behind patching wif her if u haf absolutely no feelings for her?and if u could do this to her, why not me? why shld i not tink tat u may put me in that same position?okaes. let's not talk abt putting the blame on u.let's talk the person i noe the best. me.let's say i dun care abt all tat. and i accept u back.i dun tink i am ready for it.i still like my freedom.and i am soo scared tat i will do to u, the same thing i did to u den.and after tat whole "JP" incident, i won't put myself or anyone thru the same thing again. it hurts.and not only tat.another person shares my heart with u. let's just call him "eyecandy"and because of this, it's a definite no-no to go into a relationship.i dun trust myself to be entirely faithful.to say truthfully, i haf slight hopes for this "eyecandy".though i noe tat there is like only a 1% chance for anything.but.. this isnt fair to u either way.#1. i accept u back, but leaves u for him.#2. i dun accept u back YET, and wait and see. "eyecandy" dun want me, i accept u.that would be damn bad of me. it would be using u as a substitute. and i am really sick of screwing up all my relationships tat i just want to haf a nice, good, long-lasting, loving one. so till den.. i'm just going to wait and see. u dun haf to wait for me.but i ask of u, not to be so mean to her. be with her if u like/love her.dun be with her just for the sake of being with her.if there is any fate between us, time will see.after all, what is meant to be urs, will be urs.Labels: angry, confused, hurt, sad
Y 2:19 AM
