LOUdesker.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

*--Nothing's gonna change my love for u
u ought to know by now how much I love u
One thing u can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than ur love
Nothing's gonna change my love for u
u ought to noe by now how much I love u
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for u--*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this song is nice. rite? haha.
musn't worry okaes.
i won't leave u alone.
muz trust me.
hmm.. skool starting already. i miss my frenz,
havent toched my hmk yet. i am sooo lazy to do it.
haiz..

Y 11:06 PM

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

went book shopping yesterday. haha. went wif cheryl, kenneth, joce.. den met pat and 2 other guys. yupps. PAT GOT MY FONE~! ARGGGHHHH! i'm so jealous.. but my mummy said tat she will get me the fone. haha. yay! haha. hmm.. yesterday quite fun. okla.. it was ok..haha. wat u want to eat?! hahaha. rite cheryl? haha

Y 11:11 AM

Sunday, December 26, 2004

christmas isn't christmas this year.. i thought last year was worse.. BOY! am i wrong. this year is much worse. haiz. oh well.. it's ok. got lots of invitations to go out wif frenz.. but obviously i can't go.. sheesh. so angry. haiz.. anywae.. i gtg.

ok. i'm back. i was damn bored at my uncle's house. haiz. dun even noe the ppl there.. i bet they dun even noe me too. and they call themselves my relatives. haiz.. den.. there are NO other ppl the same age as me. they are either too old.. or too young. haiz. extra rite? den i ended up walking by myself for 1 hr at the playground. i was TAT bored. haiz.. i am sad today. wonder if i made the right decision.. i dunno. wat happens if i am only a sub? haiz. sadd.
christmas suxs this year. oh well.. hope next year is better. haiz. okaes.. i guess i sign off here.

*missingu
*iloveu

Y 6:57 PM

Thursday, December 23, 2004

i LOVE my blog. i LOVE my juniors! i LOVE my frenz! i LOVE ms tan! i LOVE my seniors! i LOVE my dearr!

Y 10:10 PM

i tink this template is ssooo cool! and it's so cute! haha. suits me rite.. haha. hmmm.. tmr is the last day for training. haiz. christmas this year isn't gonna be the same. for one thing.. half the family isn't here. den.. we won't be having the usual family gathering. and we haven't even bothered wif the presents. also auntie una won't be having her usual annual x'mas party. yupps. christmas this year will be really weird and new. oh well..

Y 3:46 PM

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

my tag-board is screwed up..! help! i dunno wat to do. haha. hmm.. is this template nicer..? or before? hmmm...

Y 12:28 PM

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

i t ' s no th i n g pe rso n al . .

Y 6:49 PM

Sunday, December 12, 2004

plz plz plz plz.. leave me alone. plz? i really want time for myself. to really tink. i'm sorry i'm hurting u. and.. i really neva agree wif anyone on anything.. unless u count me agreeing wif the "passerby" person tat my blog song is nice. and.. yar. plz leave me alone. i noe i'm probably the meanest person.. the villianest villian and all tat.. but u dunno wat i'm feeling or wat i'm tinking.. so u can't say anything. u dunno me.. so ya. plz.. bug off.

Y 3:11 PM

Saturday, December 11, 2004

should i..? should i not..? i dunno.

*can u.. THE PERSON WHO IS IMPERSONATING OTHER PPL.. juz leave my blog alone? plz..? pretty plz..? i dun need all this things messing my blog.

'thank u for ur co-operation'*

Y 3:36 PM

Thursday, December 09, 2004

I can't tell u..
Why she felt tat way..
She felt it everyday..
I can't help her
I juz watched her make the same mistakes again..
What's wrong now?
Too many problems..
~~Doesn't noe where she belongs~~
She wants to go home but nobody's home..
Tat's where she lies.. ~~broken inside~~
No place to go
To dry her eyes.. broken inside
Open your eyes and look outside
Find the reason why..
u've been rejected
And now u can't find
Wat u left behind..
Be strong now..
Her feeling she hides.
Her dream she can't find.
~~She's losing her mind.~~
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
~~She's lost inside.~~

Y 9:46 PM

FINE! it's my fault ok. happy? i noe u meant well and all tat.. but rite now i dunno wat to tink. i dun wanna tink anymore. i juz wanna be emotion-less. without a thought for anything. good or bad. i juz wanna runaway from everything. run and run and run... and not caring where i end up. i noe tat running away doesnt help things.. but i juz can't help it. i dun wanna face reality. i dun wanna sort through the mess i haf in my head. my bball sucks.. dunno if i can get into the team. the match i played yesterday was shit. dunno if i can help lead the team as vice-cap. dunno if everything is fine. dunno how to make it fine. dunno if ppl can accept changes. dunno if i noe anything anymore.
*do i want changes?
*do i not want changes?
*if i want changes.. can they accept the changes?
i dunno i dunno i dunno i dunno i dunno i dunno....!!!!!! *leave me alone!!!!!*

I've gotta say respectfully..
I would love it if you would take the cameras off of me
Cuz I juz wanna little room to breathe
Can you please respect my privacy?
Why can't u just let me do
The things I wanna do??
I just wanna be me!!
I don't understand..
Why would u wanna bring me down?
i gotta live my life like I wanna do
I'm tired of rumors starting
I'm sick of being followed
I'm tired of people lying
Saying wat they want abt me
Why can't they back up off me?
Why can't they let me live?
I'm gonna do it my way..
Take this for juz what it is.
I juz need to free my mind
Juz wanna dance and have a good time
and not tink..

Y 6:58 PM

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

*2-4-6-8! who do we appreciate?
1-3-5-9! SAC! SAC! No. 1!*
~~=bullshit=~~

haiz.. we lost the match by ONE ball. ONE~! haiz. i totally sucked ok. played for so long.. and did i score? NOooo.. wat the hell rite.. haiz. den it didn't help tat the referees were bias against us. blow us so many times for foul when it WASN'T EVEN A FOUL! den when they foul me.. did they blow foul? of course not. they blew me for travelling instead. WONDERFUL~! haiz. nvm. shall try harder tmr. oh. u noe.. ms tan came like more den half an hour late. haha. den i was like panicking cuz the opponent's coach asking us to start and all tat.. haiz. haha. but in the end we started without her. so rubbish the way we played. haha. oh.. den half time.. we were helping to dry the court when this guy came near me and like picked up one of the newspaper. den on it had taufik's pic. den he asked me.. ehz! it's taufik! [i was like.. uh huh. so?] u support taufik or sylvester?. haha. i looked at him and said.. neither.. i support olinda. den i walk away. haha. den he JUZ followed me and was like. oh ya! me too. so in luv wif her! i juz ignored him.. and bent down to pick up the newspaper when he said.. nono.. let me let me. den he went ard saying to everyone.. let me let me. WAT A MORON rite? haha. nvm. den playing.. i fell down where he was sitting. and he was like.. ehz! u ok not. do u need help? are u ok? pain not? muz take care. ok not? and i was like.. er. yar. okok. yar. uh huh. like.. HELLO~! i'm playing the match! haha. oh. my S.M.M came and support me.. actually.. he came to look at the girls under the excuse of supporting me. wat a moron. sheesh! at least he found "his" girl. haha. wasn't time wasted. haha. hmm.. i hope u are alright. sorry couldn't msg u back or call u. go and see a doc ok. dun need to come and support my match tmr. dun want u to injure urself more. stay home and rest. ok..?
anywae.. was thinking abt where i was around this time of the year last year. remembered tat horrible horrible time. i hope i won't make the same mistake again. actually.. i WON'T make the same mistake again. dun wanna go thru tat again.
~~last christmas.. i gave u my heart~~
~~but the very next day, u gave it away..~~
~~this year, to save me from tears..~~
~~i'll give it to someone special..~~
hmm.. i noe tat this few days nothing has been the same. i noe tat i am the one causing it. i hope tat it's juz a passing thing. i dunno wat to do to make things the same. i dunno anything anymore.
*Try to understand tat..
I'm trying to make a move juz to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing and ~~i dun feel the same~~*

Y 1:20 AM

Monday, December 06, 2004

hmm. was talking to ~~chris~~ last nite. for abt an hour plus? bill gonna go bust! haiz. but quite fun talking to him. talk abt all the moronic stuff and all tat. haha. so retarded.. haha. hmm.. hope he and her are ok. yupps. feel bad. but yupps. haha. haiz. hope i can do well in the match tmr. anywae. will stop here. yupps. nitex!

Y 11:05 PM

Thursday, December 02, 2004

juz came back from st john's. actually the camp was quite fun. especially all the group activites and all tat. the 6 days actually passed by quite fast.. for me la. haha. UNITY IS THE BEST!!! *U-N-I-T-Y-y-y-y! U-N-I-T-Y-y-y-y! GO UNITY!* haha. i LOVE my group to bits ok. haha. i tink the 2nd last day was the best.. although we got quite a scolding and had an emotional talk wif ms tan. i hope tat everything can be settled. also.. 2 very unexpected things happened to me. first i "won" the iniative award.. which i haf no idea wat i did to win tat award. den the other was like.. damn unlikely.. i seriously didn't tink it would be me. it was like juz a slap on the face which i had to register before i actually realise i haf been slapped. [wat the hell am i talking abt? haha] anywae.. oh ya. i didn't expect to be made the vice-cap. i thought it would be tiffy. seriously. and now.. i am damn scared i can't actually help aggy. i am scared i juz make things worse. i feel tat tiffy would haf made a better vice. i haf no idea wat ms tan was tinkin. haiz.. how? i really dunno if i can do it. haiz.. i guess.. we juz haf to see how it works out.
anywae.. i feel like a failure. i dunno why. i juz feel like it. haiz. i hope wan ying is ok. i feel damn sad. and.. i feel ultra bad. cuz of tat incident tat happened in sec 2.. which resulted in me not talking to her anymore. it wasn't a major incident. it didn't do me any harm.. so why did i do tat to her? haiz.. i wanna say sorry over and over again. oh well.. i hope tat she will be fine.
anywae.. on the happier note.. SYAZNI IS COMING BACK TO SKOOL!!!! i am so happy!! i miss her so much!! haha. anywae.. i shall stop here. oh ya.. muz wish our bballers luck for our matches on tues and wed. hope we can at least win one game. haha. tat's my target. haha.
[ [ i *miss* u lots ] ]

~~Curse me inside~~
~~For every word tat caused u to cry~~
~~Curse me inside~~

Y 6:14 PM