Thursday, November 23, 2006
oh my gosh.
juz blog-reading. those of my
current classmates and those of my
ex-classmates.
and now i am feeling really sad.
first cuz i miss my ex-classmates to bits.
REALLY. i miss all our 4/5 nonsense. all our laughter. our camera frenzies. all our going outs. our "posse" meetings.i juz miss them loads.
but now all of us are separated. some of them meet up often. some are not.
sad to say tat i am part of the "some are not". oh wells. really sad. sighs.
ABBY! TIFFY HEN.! ALLY! MELLY! LUP! PATTY! STEPHIE! EVERYONE! though we dun meet up often.
i really miss and still love u all lots. :)take care ya?
hmm. ok. the second thing tat i am sad abt is tat..
=((
we've found good frens and confidants in each other.
together we created lots of memorable memories together.
our almost-every-week-diff-sports class activities.
our bubble-tea moments.
our candid moments.
our nonsense together.
our forever gossip sessions.
our sad moments.
our stressful moments.
our study sessions.
our HAPPY moments. I LOVE YOU ALL:) though we've been together for such a short time.. we still became close frens.i'm sooo gonna remember the times we had together. AND WHEN WE GO TO DIFF CLASSES NEXT YR.. WE BETTER MEET UP FOR GOSSIP SESSIONS AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK!misses and kisses for everyone:)
Y 5:29 AM
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
thoughts just keep running thru my mind.
seriously, i've really tried not to tink abt it. tried to give excuses.
but.. as time passes, i get more and more afraid. more and more paranoid.
and because of this, i get a second fear.
fear that as a result of this somewhat "clingy-ness", it drives u away.
okaes. this is really making me fustrated.
all these thoughts.
it's like.. one side will try not to tink abt it. and therefore i will tink more.
another side comes up wif excuses and explanations.
another makes negative conclusions.
and finally the other one juz says that i am over-reacting. and tat i myself is making everything worse.
so which side do i actually follow?
let's toss a coin.
too bad a coin only has 2 sides.
i miss u so damn much.do you?i guess i better start accepting the truth.
tat we will neva be together.
after wat u msged me today..
my irritating paranoid mind went into overload.
"juz give me some time"
tat's the phrase which scares me the most.
will u promise be with me after tat some time?
will you?
sighs.
i hate the brain.
it thinks too much for its own good.
so irritating.
IRRITANT!
ARGH! i swear i am going nuts.
BONKERS!
CRAZZZ-AAAYYY!
Y 1:41 AM
Sunday, November 19, 2006
i was super harsh and mean in my previous entry.
i'm sooo sorry.
dun take it to heart ok? oh mann..
sorry sorry sorry.
i was really angry at tat moment. like initial reaction kinda thing.
sorry!!!
u can go ard telling everyone i am a mean person.
promise u i wont get mad!
oh mann. i was super mean in my previous entry wasnt i?anywae. i deleted it cuz it was really mean and hateful. sorry. hope it didnt hurt anyone.
Y 4:18 AM
Friday, November 17, 2006
sighs. sometimes i wished i knew wat was going thru his mind.
i mean sometimes it seems he really loves me.
when we go to the beach, i feel tat he really does love me.
den after tat... the love switch suddenly switches off.
it's like.. we only meet once a week.
and let me tell u.. my face has been thrown and stepped on la.
girls dun usually ask guys out. maybe once in a while yes. but not so often.
for me.. i've been the one asking him out. out of all the times i haf asked him out..
only 3 times he has accepted. the rest of the times i get rejected.
i mean how many times can a girl do this?
i dun mean to say tat guys MUST be the one to ask girls out.
but.. for a girl to KEEP asking a guy out and keep gettin rejected.
it's really humiliating not mentioning abt the big disappointment within.
and has he asked me out at all??
ONLY ONCE! ONLY. ONCE.
wat can i do?
i can't do anything.
i dun want to be those kind of needy girls. or the irritating kind.
but if I dun ask him out.
we will NEVA go out since he NEVA asks.
sighs. i dunno wat to do.
okok. i noe. i shld not be pampered and whiny.
i shall be understanding. yes yes. tat's wat i will be.
for all i noe he may haf his reasons.
yes. tat must be it. anywae, everything is fine as long as he loves me rite?
- i tink i'm lying to myself. but it makes me feel better. -
`if u love me, u would be here wif me.
Y 4:27 PM
