argh.
doing nothing at home is killing me.
i gotta get money. =(
the worse thing abt this whole staying at home routine..
i feel emo!
omgoodness.
even when i am not doing anything, i feel emo.
ugh...
i got the emo-kid syndrome.
ahhh!
okaes. tat was just me being bored.

at least tuesdays are better. =)
i've got Police and Thief at 8 pm.
den The Arena at 8.30 pm.
*i lurrvvee UWC. with all their accents. and the guy is pretty cute. HAH!*
den i'll watch half an hour of the chinese serial at 9.30 pm till 10.00 pm.
and den i'll see who wins at The Arena. *UWC WON! yesh arrr!*
and at 10.30 pm..
my CSI starts.
followed by Cold Case.
den Killer Instinct.
and another round of CSI.
heehee. i love those shows.
i love tuesdays so.=))

i noeeee..
my life is sooo full of fun. haha.
oh yes. did i go for Skye's birthday thing in the end?
yeps. i did.
but all the girls pang seh me.
bloody hell.
i was the only rose among 6 thorns.
haha.
who are the 6 thorns?
Skye - the lao birthday boy.
kannan, tk and jon - pisang brothers.
jj - ehh.. extra pisang brother luhh.
mark - the second lao-est. haha.
i felt sooo extra.
but it was ok.
we ended up doing guys stuff.
first was a budget meal at Cartel.
den a few hours at the Lan shop *shudders*
*it was the most violent night of my life*
we played..
Command & Conquer, Starcraft and *double shudders* Counter Strike.
haha. first time i played these kinda games.

ANYWAE. let me side track and tell u abt my exp with the games.
for C&C, i was in Mark's and Skye's team. the rest were in another.
soo. Skye told me to just build anything and esp. the power plant.
so okaes. haha.
sounded easy.
so i happily built stuff.
so i built and built and trained and built.. for like an hour?
suddenly the words "YOU'VE BEEN VICTORIOUS" came out.
haha! i didnt tink building stuff could give me victory.
haha. den Skye and Mark were like "yeah! yeah! we won!"
and they turned to me..
"eh! did u even attack?"
i was like.. "uhh. i was supposed to attack?"
heehee. girls. i'm soo not Lan-material.
ohh. den we played Starcraft.
tat was the BORING-est game ever.
i mean. i didnt understand what the terms meant.
"pylons".. "plato-something"..
and it took damn long for them to mine stuff. haha.
finally we moved onto CS.
everyone aimed me luhh.
i was the first one to die.
tink it was cuz of my nick. "IMinnocent =("
HAHA! waaadd? i thought it would gain sympathy.
buuuddd! i managed to kill some. haha.
quite good wat!
haha.

soo. ANYWAE. moving back on track. after LAN-ing.
we went to the Arcade.
another guy thing. haha.
and den we took loads of pics and videos.
haha. den went went to walk to..
Rochor Original Beancurd.
this is where we went to eat.... BEANCURD! =)
but i was really full.
haha. so by den it was alr 12 am.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SKYE!
den his friend came.. didnt catch the name.
was pretty good-looking. haha. but probably too old for me anywae.
den ya-da ya-da ya-da.
supposed to go stay over with them.
pretty weird rite.
one girl all guys.
felt it was rude to go to Jolene's house so late.
so decided to meet Casey *muh cousin* and Susan and crash at Casey's house.
met them at Paradiz Centre and Casey had a craving for FRIES.
at 1 am.
WOW!

so anywae. we walked to some Orchard hawker and bought Rojak.
haha. me and Casey kept laughing at the seller.
"u want rojak?
$3 one got 4 types of ingredients. - turnip, youtiao, tao pok, cucumber.
u want to add fruits is $5.
$5 one got 4 types of fruits. - green apple, red apple, guava and jambu.
$3 one the plate is small... but.. the ingredients still alot. got 4 types of ingredients u noe. -toa pok, youtiao, cucumber and turnip.
$5 one the plate is the same same. but even MORE ingredients. u haf thr 4 types plus fruits! fruits got 4 types.. etc etc"
i couldnt help it. i laughed.
she kept going on abt how many types of whatever there were.
so we finally ordered.
den this drink seller asked us what we wanted.
me and Casey ordered and Su said dun want.
so the lady came with our drinks and Su decided she wanted one too.
hahah. and the lady scolded her. HAHA!
"just now i ask u whether u want drink. u dun want. now u want. what u want now?"
hahaa. den Su just stared at her like.. WTF.
it was super funny. so we drank and smoked. *oh no. not me. they.*
our 7-ingredient rojak came. *we didnt want turnip*
we left there and cabbed back ard 2 am.
Su went home.
the cousin and me talked and watch movie till 5 plus am.
woke up at 1 pm. i was soo scared Jo-an would scold me la.
turned out..
that PIG was still sleeping. idiot.
haha. so me and Casey went to Subway to satisfy our craving.
rushed down to Outram to meet Jo-an.

oh yes!
anyone who knows ANYONE who needs a tutor for ANYTHING or wants to be a tutor.. pls come to me or Jo-an ok.
PLEASE!
do it for CHARITY.
i'll buy u a cheap-o lunch. =)
**tutor wannabes must haf at least A level or a diploma.

Y 7:28 PM

OUCH!
my body hurts like mad.
EVERY PART OF IT.
from my ear to my neck;
from my back to my arms;
from my tummy to my legs. this is inclusive of my BUTT.
argh!
i cant walk and sit like a normal person.
haha. Jo-an said tat if there was a guy walking next to me,
he most likely will get turned on cuz of my constant groaning.
HAHA!
i swear.
for someone who NEVA had a boyfriend before..
she's pretty "knowledgeable" abt these kinda stuff.
HAHA!
such an ass la.

ANYWAE. went to SJC to watch her sis get an award.
haha. me and Jo-an were her "parents".
haha. LESBIANS man.
how cool are we.
haha.
whatever.
anywae. her school is pretty nice.
and OMGOODNESS!
the food was sooo nice.
hahaha.
i LURVVVEEED the cream pastry.
LOVED it man.
haha.
it was "yummy yummy, there's a rumbly in my tummy" =))

ANYWAE. tmr supposed to go out wif the BSC ppl.
dunno who's going. but supposedly gonna celebrate Skye's birthday.
haha. dunno if i shld go.
probably will be fun.
but no $$ka-ching$$ $$ka-ching$$
haha. i'll tink of a way.

OH YES. that reminds me.
i found a job.
and it sounds relatively easy.
and tat's the reason why my father is so suspicious.
the person said it's something like a "tutor co-ordinator"
i'm supposed to match up customers to their tutors.
den for every successful match,
i get $100.
EASY RITE?
SO UNBELIEVABLE RITE?
they're probably trying to cheat me.
haha. but anywae..
i'll just go down and see how.
no harm in trying.
and it's pretty easy money if it's actually REAL.
haha.
but ar.
i tell u ar.
the guy i called was like...
WHOA!
the fastest talker i ever heard.
haha.
this is how it somehow went...
Him: *bored, sian, kill-me-pls-i-wanna-die voice* harloooowww......
Me: hi. erm. are u all looking for students to work?
Him: *suddenly alive*
ohyes.weare.wearelookingforstudentsmainlytowork.whatisurname?
*yes. i'm serious. he spoke tat fast*
Me: uhh. carey.
Him: canuspelltatforme?whatisursurname?
Me: c-a-r-e-y d-e-s-k-e-r.
Him: ok.good.ok.sinceuareastudentuareprobablyexposedtousingcomputers.areuinpoly?
whichpoly?howoldareu?whatyearareu?whatcomputereditionareuusing?
95,96,2000,XP?
Me: *i haf the huh look on my face* uhh. XP?
Him: okok.soanywae.. blah blah blah.
Me: -trying to ask him if i can get jo-an to join also- uhh...
Him: blah blah blah choo! choo! blah blah..
Me: -still trying to cut in- uhh....
Him: blah blah choo! choo! blah blah..
Me: -still trying to ask if i can bring a friend- umm... uhh.. excu....
Him: soanywaeplsgofowntothisaddresstmrforapreview.areufreeat145?
Me: uhh.... yeahs. where's the place?
Him: atpearlcentre..unitno.floorno.blah blah. soareufreeat145?
Me: yeah. i am. but can i uh....
Him: -cut in- oh.that'sgood.soanywae.ucanbringonefriendalongok?
Me: oh. okaes. *to myself: duh....*
Him: thanku.seeu.bye. *KIAP!* -dial tone.....-
Me: uhh..... .... bye?
haha. fastest talker in the world.
Jo-an was laughing at me cuz i could neva cut in.
haha. oh wells.
let's see if this job is good.
=)
toodles!

Y 9:43 PM

i went back to Kovan to visit for awhile and to get my smelly shoes back.
HAHA!
but... i was so sad.. =(
almost the whole of Kovan Giordano has gone.
haha.
i missed Kovan oh-so-much.
but.. since there are like NOONE left.
guess i wont be visiting Kovan tat much.
aye. but while i was there,
FLORENCE CALLED!
haha. so happy la.
talked to her abit.
i scolded her saying why she didnt inform me abt her transferring.
den she was like.. "aiya. i waited for u to come and visit me for so long. den u never come so i fly away lor."
haha. feel so bad.
wanted to visit sooner.
but knowing the lazy bum tat i am..
well.
haha.
nvm. i shall visit them soon. PROMISE! =)

ANYWAE. i went to watch Mr. Bean today.
haha. it was UBER funny.
stupid la. but funny.
haha. he is soo retarded.
omg.
haha.
and den.. OH! guess wat!
I.... [everybody! prepare to buy 4D]
WENT FOR TRAINING TODAY! =))
haha.
omgoodness rite. hahaha.
buy 4D. sure win. haha.
anywae. after the movie..
contemplated on piercing my ear.
went to Yellow.
didnt haf much chance to contemplate.
#1. *ka-ching* she collected payment. [very fast eh she took my money]
#2. *spritz* she sprayed the alcohol on to the gunner thingy.
#3. *spritz* she sprayed on my ear like from a distance of.. 8 inches? [i mentally measured. so i doubt it's accurate]
#4. *kiiii-ap* done. bye.
see! what chance did i haf of comtemplating?
and i was intelligent enough to pierce it DIRECTLY before training. HAHA!
it hurts like mad now.

ANYWAE. training was slack.
but i nearly died within the first half hour.
omg.
my physique is THAT good.
my morale is at the same place as my stamina - somewhere near my toes.
serious la. =(
aye. well. i shldn't give up tat easily rite?
okaes. i won't.
i'll try not to.
omg.
i tink i'm bluffing myself.
HAHA!
okok. i will put in more effort in training.
I WILL!

ouch. my ear hurts terribly.

Y 1:45 AM

i've been rotting at home this past whole week.
argh.
how sad can my life get?
haha. but i guess it was ok?
me and mario bonded more this week. =)
and I CLEANED MY ROOM!
HAHA!
well. it's relatively clean la. haha.
this past week has been boring, but at the same time..
reminded me of stuff.
like.. i was going thru old letters and stuff,
and i came across some sec 3 con camp stuff.
i read all the little notes written.
and i read the little notes Rancell wrote to me,
and it brought back LOTS of memories of both good and sad.
haha. made me miss him plenty.
haha. aye. those were the days.
it made me feel tat i am getting old. HAHA!
and den there was tat day i saw Sean at PS.
haha. *ouch* heart pain. haha.
i havent seen him since..
last july/august?
but oh wells. it was good to see him again.
and yeahs. it brought back memories.
missed him too.

aye. i realised that in life..
there are many ppl who walk in and out of my life.
when they walk in,
they bring in joy, happiness, fun, sadness, anger etc.
and when they walk out,
for me, i am full of regrets.
like regretful cuz i didnt do this or that.
that kinda thing.
and den there is this feeling of missing the person.
and it's weird that, sometimes, though a person has walked out of ur life,
u may never noe if u will get to see the person again.
like for example,
my kindergarden best friend.
IT WAS KINDERGARDEN.
haha. den obviously we lost contact when we went to diff pri and sec sch.
and den.. WOW! i come into poly..
she's in the same poly, same sch as me even.
haha. weird and funny rite? haha.

okaes. enough of being so sentimental and mushy.
haha. i'm scaring myself.
oh! let me tell u something.

QUAN [wu chun] IS MINE!
OMG! he is sooo cute.
he is SOO tall.
he is just right muscular built.
he has a TATTOO!
he is into sports!
his character as Quan is the exact kind of character i want in my guy.
he is sooo.. MINE!
AHHH!
*drooools.
QUANquanQUanquANqUaN!
hahaahaha.
oh my.
this is madness.
*SNAP SNAP*
wake up lou!
hahahaa.

oh man..
i am soo bimbo-tic.
ARGH!
stupid KANNAN!
hahaha. it's all your fault.
u're the first one to call me a bimbo.
U DIE!

-hangs VODA VODA, with a rope ard it's neck, directly above a DUSTBIN-
MUAHAHAAHA!

oh yes!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIAH! :)

haha. i'm BAKING!
my first time.
and MIAH is gonna be the honoured first to taste it.
*evil smile*

Y 2:29 AM

okaes.
got back my results.
and well.. i can't say i did well.
haha. i mean i expected some of my results to be worse than it is.
BUT. it was better.

so..
when i look at my grades, i'm happy and satisfied.
and DEN...
i look at my GPA, i'm DEPRESSED!

HAHA!

but. THANK YOU LORD for listening to me. haha.
i seriously thought i had to take at least 2 supps.
heehee.
i had THAT much self-confidence. haha.
anywae. i gotta buck up on my GPA.
it is embarrassingly low la.
ARGH!
and i'm not being one of those ppl who say tat their GPA is low
but yet it's like 2.8 and above kind.
hahaa.
it IS VERY low.

but heck it.
I PASSED ALL!
MUAHAHA!

i'm soo weird.

ohhh. guess wat!

i'm starting to play ball again. =)
after like oh so long?
gonna practise abit myself first before i start training.
dun wanna lose face.
heehee.

anywae. mum's kinda sick.
high-blood pressure. =(
doc's asking her to change job.
like she will listen to him.
stupid fella.

hehs. i tink my family is damn cute.
when my mum had to go hospital,
my father made it sound like she collapsed and had a heart attack or something.
freaked me out.
turned out she went to the hospital VOLUNTARILY.
den nevermind.
my father was supposed to go to malaysia the next day,
and he stupid stupid go and tell Auntie Una that.
HAHA!
den both he and mummy got scolding from her.
soon many ppl found out that my mum went to the hospital.
mario went to tell our neighbour.
and he made it sound like..
my mum collapsed, suffered heart attack, went into coma and came back from the dead.
my neighbour was like OMG. what happened.
and mummy had to explain to him what EXACTLY happened.
HAHA!
i swear.
guys are worse gossips den girls.
hahaha.

Y 5:20 PM

Life ain't always beautiful.
Sometimes it's just plain hard.
Life can knock you down, it can break you're heart.
Life ain't always beautiful, you think you're on your way.
It's just a dead end road at the end of the day.
But the struggles make you stronger, and the changes make you wise.
And happiness has its own way of taking its sweet time.
No, life ain't always beautiful, tears will fall sometimes.
Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride. =)

ppl keep saying to me,

"eh. go and talk to so-and-so. so-and-so always listens to u."

i dun tink tat is true.
i mean.. yeahs. sure i'll go talk to tat person,
but will he/she actually listen to me?
not really.
so why do they keep saying tat?
it sorts of make me feel useless and... depressed.
like.. it shows me tat maybe the person doesnt take me seriously
or tat my suggestions arent reasonable or something.

take my best friend for example.
she is my best friend.. but wat makes us best friends?
really... i dunno.
she doesnt talk to me or tell me her problems.
she just keeps it in or avoids it.
so wat makes us best friends?
i tink her boyfriend [or so-called] talks to me more abt their r/s rather den her.

sighs.

and now i am confused as to whether i am doing the right thing or not.
every particle in my body is screaming alarms tat i shldnt get involved in this whole thing.
but..
i've never known myself to listen to them.
and it always ends up in disaster.
ALWAYS.

help?

Y 6:27 PM

omgoodness!

haha. watched Music and Lyrics with benjamin..

and it's SUPER NICE! omgoodness.

LOVE THE SONGS!

haha. and now... i'm trying to find this song which i heard on happy never after
[it was quite cute. haha]

BUT I CANT FIND IT! sucks man.

dun even noe the song title.

bleahs.

anywae. i WORKED today. haha.

and it was damn tiring.

argh!

and i got sunburnt!

how long did i work for?

FIVE HOURS!

heehee.

Y 11:49 PM

ARGH!
sometimes i really feel like screaming at you.
ARGHHHHH!!
seriously..
how selfishannoyingirritatingfustratingRAAHHH-ing can u get?
i am sooo not in the mood to be the one trying to understand and stuff.
OMGOODNESS!
I GIVE UP!
yeah. fine.
i'm immature, selfish, un-understanding, demanding, not worth it, etc, etc.
I DUN CARE ANYMORE.
argh!
if you had just stop for one sec and actually considered my feelings..
MAYBE i would care.
BUT EVIDENTLY YOU DIDNT!
ARRRGGHH!!!
somehow it's just you you you AND wow! YOU!
EVERYTHING is considered a priority EXCEPT ME!
i'll be shocked to even make it to the top 10.
YES! NOW I AM BEING SELFISH CUZ NOW I WANT EVERYTHING TO BE ABT ME!
haf u ever thought abt how i felt?
like when we go out and i'm not sure if i am EVEN allowed to touch for fear of seeing ur church ppl?
when i do hold or touch u, i get this fear tat ur church ppl will find out and u will get into trouble?
or like how u are like.. "i dun want to let u go but i haf to" right after a fun time together and u make me hurt and confused?
or the fact tat other ppl INCLUDING other christians tell me tat it's ok for them to be with "outsiders" and u tell me another thing but yet no matter wat, i still believe u?
or maybe even how u only make time for me when NOONE else has booked u during tat time?
do u ever stop and think? or even care?
even asking u to help me in my studies is hard.
all i needed from u was to be there, help me abit, figuring out with me though u were not good at it.
but no.. u didnt. DIDNT EVEN BOTHER!
seriously. i would haf preferred it if u had said tat u had stuff on.
it would haf had less disappointment.
but whatever la.
u just go on with your life. being the busy god-loving person u are.

Y 4:17 AM

indulge me.

i'm gonna clean my room.
i'm gonna haf a fresh start:)

Y 3:58 AM

i feel like blogging.. but i dun feel like blogging.

exams are over. YAY!

i need to get a job.

anywae.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JO-AN AND ESTEE AND MELS AND DENNIS! =)

okaes. i shall end my urge for blogging here.

my com is down. =(

so if ever i'm stuck at home..

i'm gonna rottttt..

sighs.

welcome holidays.

haha. i sound sooo depressing. HAHA!

Y 1:07 PM