CONGRATS TO :

BSC MAIN COMM.
Joyce, Maybelle, Wesley, Din, Sam, CK, Liyi, Jia Min, Serene, Ryan, Kok Guan, Ming, Jo-An, Mud :)

TPSU MAIN COMM.
Glenn, Dexter & Kim.

good job guys. :))


this year it's girl power year. haha.
like seriously.

ANYWAE.
thanks ppl for actually taking the time to walk & queue & vote for everyone at the cyber centre. greatly appreciated. :)
hope tat the main comm-ers will do our best.
haha. i feel sooo diplomatic. HAHA!

SWATCH FIVB BEACH VOLLEYBALL TOUR post will be up soon.
if i am feeling un-lazy.

Labels: good job ppl

Y 2:56 AM

Wish I could be the one
The one who could give you love
The kind of love you really need
Wish I could say to you
That I'll always stay with you
But baby that's not me
You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you
Promise you forever, baby that's something I can't do

Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a lie
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

I hope someday you can
Find some way to understand I'm only doing this for you
I don't really wanna go
But deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do
You'll find someone who'll be the one that I could never be
Who'll give you something better
Than the love you'll find with me

Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a crime
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you
Oh, I don't wanna leave you
Baby it tears me up inside
But I'll never be the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye
Baby, it's never gonna work out
I love you, goodbye.

Labels: sighs

Y 2:29 AM

haha. i tink tat "sumone" person is really funny.
haha.

" u r a *****.. a big *****... ur bf is a ****ing gay... u guys suck!"

haha. i dun really noe wat the *** stands for.
but.. i find the bf part really weird.
esp. since i dun haf a bf.

HAHA!

shit ass.

ANYWAE. haha. tmr is the last polling day.
whatever it is, all the best to everyone & ANYONE.
haha. wheee!
grab ur friends, freshies, seniors, classmates
& RUN down to the SAA building!
QUICK QUICK QUICK!
LE LONG LE LONG!

SENTOSA TMR TILL SUNDAY.

wheee! sentosa! =)

Y 2:56 AM

my new laptop! BUBBLES:)
haha. i predict tat this will soon be my new love.
haha. mummy bums was super nice today.
she bought me this laptop, a 2 GB thumbdrive, mouse and a real nice laptop pouch.
im happy. :)

ANYWAE. i just realised my previous post has TONS of spelling errors.
tsk tsk. my english teacher would haf been horrified.
haha. and. i realised i left out MANY things.
i'm sorry.

Kannan, my dearest adopted godbrother,& uncle Keagan, my bus buddy, thank u the two of for all the support, encouragement, advice, entertainment etc. tat u two haf given/done for us. no matter wat, i noe u are both giving us the support we need. LOVE U MANY!

& to the rest of the gang who helped to put up posters. Kudos to all the hard work we haf done. haha. though half of it is not so successful, *stupid poster keep dropping*, we had fun rite? haha. anywae. whether we get in or not.. we will always haf those fun memories working together! =))

special note to Jo-an.
thanx many, really, for everything u've done for me. haha. lending me money when i totally had zero in my useless wallet, giving me a shoulder to cry on, whether it's thru breakups or stress, giving me someone to talk to, laugh with, gossip with, etc. for being there for me no matter wat. whether it's good or bad or boring or fun. though sometimes our frequencies are not the same **haha! obviously we noe who is of higher frequency. haha!**, we both noe one thing. WE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER. haha. and.. when one day u feel as though u are gonna burst with all the kept emotions, look for me. i'll be there for u ya? though i cant say all the right things, or the things u want to hear, i'll always lend u my shoulder. :)

LOVEyou.:)

Labels: this is for all of u

Y 1:58 AM

haha. voting period now!
whee! all these will be over soon.
though the process has been really hard & tough..
it was really a great experience.
got to noe more ppl,
got to get a taste of running an election,
had quite a bit of fun,
all the fustrations, laughter, togetherness, tears, heart aches, joy and esp. team-work.
it really worth all tat running.

putting up all the posters was hard work.
and i really can't imagine the hard work the mainn comm has to go thru later on.
but hey. if i ever get in,
it would be another experience,
more things to learn.
i would put in my best. :)

I'M SERIOUS LAAA!

haha. anywae.
pls be really nice and vote for the following ppl ok? PRETTY PLEASE!

BSC:
Jo-An, Kok Guan *lupcheong no hair! HAHAH!*, Wesley, Din, Apple, Ti Keng, Sharyl, Woonyah, Khim Boon, Keng Kee, Lih Long, Gunawan, Serene, Joyce, Sam, Jia Min and CK.
**yes yes. i noe. it's many.. but.. take ur best pick. :)**

TPSU:
GLENN and Dexter. :)

yups. basically tat's all.
just pick the ones whom u tink shld get in.
that's the MOST important thing ever!

ANYWAE.
i tink Wesley has been really good to all of us, THOUGH he calls me char kway teow aunite, and i would really like to thank him for EVERYTHING. THANKS DADDY!

and Din and Shawn who has done alot, putting the posters up, going back & forth to get food for us. THANKS to u too.

the stupid lupcheong no hair KOKGUAN, THANKS for entertaining me and giving me blue blacks. haha.

and Dexter, who stole my thoink thoink!. haha, thanx for helping us put up our posters and letting us use ur stuff. sorry we couldnt help u tat much with ur posters. =/

and my dearest wonderful JO-AN, who has supported me through thick & thin. who was there when things were tough & i broke down. I LOVE U MANY LA! may we go through more thick & thin together. no worries. any time u tink u need a shoulder...
I AM RIGHT HERE!

LOVE U MANY! =)

Labels: vote vote vote

Y 5:49 PM

u keep coming in & out of my life,
& i keep walking in & out of ur life.
is this the chapter where we both walk out of each other's lives for good?
i really dunno wat i feel. seriously.
i dun tink i believe u.
how could i after all tat bluffs?
i cheat u, u cheat me back.
how would life be if we patched?
would it be a game of bluff?
let's talk abt my feelings.
i'm scared tat if i let u go again, i would deeply regret it.
and i'll spend nights & nights & nights thinking why i was so stupid.
but on the other hand..
do i still haf feelings for u?
or do i not want to let u go cuz i've grown dependent on u?
and the thing is,
the person whom i truely fell for before is not there anymore.
u've changed. i dunno if it's for the good or for the worse.
but wat i noe is tat,
the "U" tat u are now, is not the "U" tat i once was in love with.
probably tat change in u was my fault.
but.. yeahs.
aye. whatever la. i shall tink abt it as Patrina says.

ANYWAE. i am starting to hate elections.
wait. let me re-phrase tat.
I HATE ABSOLUTELY ABHOR ELECTIONS.
friendships are strained.
feelings are hurt.
bitching, back-stabbing, bad-mouthing..
they are all coming out.

these current elections are seriously bringing out the WORST in ppl.
and..
i find it really sad.
ppl whom i thought were nice, suddenly are not.
ppl whom i thought were my good friends, suddenly are not.

this whole thing is making me feel really sian and sad.
i do haf the interest in running for main comm,
contrary to what ppl may tink.
the only reason why i seem to hold back is cause
when i look back on how the old main comm did their job,
i wonder,
will i be even able to do half the good job done by them?
will i bring the main comm down?
will i crack under the stress?
and though i dun haf the confidence yet,
i'm slowly building up on it.

aye. but seriously ar.
i would rather get in to the main comm on the reason that,
ppl ACTUALLY thought that i was capable enough.
not cause of friend networking.
but den.. so far this election has been all abt popularity.
sighs.

oh wells.

Labels: life's a bitch

Y 3:07 AM

hmm. wanted to change my blog song.
but i couldnt find anything suitable just yet.
sighs.
nevermind. shall stick with it:)

ANYWAE. let me continue with saturday night at Wei Sheng's house.
so me, Jo-An, Miah, Gekku, Gabe went over to keep Ws company.
we ate and drank and drank and snack-ed.
they found out tat when i am bored,
i do pretty stupid things. haha.

ONE example:
Ws had sunburn so like.. some parts were peeled off and some werent ready to be peeled. and i tink he drank abit too much.
so he was red all over.
his peeled off parts were pink and havent peeled parts were RED.
haha. andandand.. i realised if i put my fingers on his skin,
they leave a white mark!
SO FUN LA!
i wrote my name, created the adidas sign etc. haha.
yeahs.
they called me childish.
but hey, i entertained them wat. hmmph. go figure.
HAHA.

ANYWAE. dvd marathon-ed. slept ard 6 plus? woke up at 2 pm.
left his house ard 5 pm. we emo-ed thru the night la. haha. it was a good session.

okaes. back to the present.
i haf no idea why i am so very UBER emo these few days.
like suddenly haf no mood for anything.
i dun feel like i am laughing tat much anymore.
not much interest in stuff.
sighs.
maybe i do haf an idea why i am like tat.
but hey. get over it right?

ANYWAE. i realised being in the toilet helps me calm down alot.
as well as help me to tink better.
try it! I'M SERIOUS la.

i was thinking abt religions [in the toilet] last night.
and there are things abt religion tat make me confused and stuff.
there are things tat i dun understand and i tink i would never will.
i guess i dun like how some religions put down other religions.
i mean i'm not saying tat everyone in a certain religion does tat.
i'm just saying generally, so please, dun get offended.
i mean, if ppl want to believe in a certain religion, say catholicism,
den why not let them be?
why try to convert them?
it's all abt faith wat.
it's a diff in preference.
i feel tat ppl shldnt put down other religions, cuz it's just wrong.
it's like condemning someone for not following ur preference.
and tat's unfair.
some religions haf rules tat i dun totally agree with.
but i cant do anything abt it cuz..
well.. rules are rules rite?
it's ur choice on whether u wanna follow it or not.
all though it does irks me alot. but..
it's still ultimately ur choice.

but den again, this is MY opinion.
i might be wrong or right in different ppl's eyes.
but let me repeat.. this is MY opinion.
i'm in NO way condemning OR putting down any other religions.
IF in ANY way, i haf offended ANYONE.
i am TRUELY sorry.

sighs. alot of stuff has been clouding me lately.
and.. i myself do not noe wat EXACTLY are these stuff.
just some things buggering me.
argh.
irritating crap.

i wish Pisangs could be Pisangs again.

:(

it makes me real sad to see us in this state.
everyone has drifted apart.
sighs.

this is an e-mail to every Pisang from Kannan.
Kannan says ;

When i grow old and look back at my life,
i would identify a certain x'mas that i had spent with friends that really matter to me.
How time has passed, a new academic year is here.
And everyday,
i walk through the concourse (that i will always remember)
looking for 9 familiar faces.
Faces that would make my day no matter how bad it was.
Faces that would make a special place deep down in my heart feel happy. But recently i haven't seen them much.
And today when i saw all of them i glowed.
Cause i really missed them.
And i know next year when i graduate, i would cry.
Cause i might never see them again.

Cause i would not be able to tickle Jon
or Joke abt Sam's height
or keep telling Jiamin how she would soon really look like me
or sing emo songs with Jolene and staying up all night with her
or support my fav football club with Long
or have late night suppers with Lou
or get high and crazy with Jo-an
or tease the Pisang girls together with TK
or see Joyce in a skirt.

Even now i feel that we aren't as close as we were.
With fights, deceit and misunderstandings.
I might just start crying soon.
Cause maybe Pisangs won't last till then.
I just hope that in the end
when i leave i would be able to say to each of you:
" i love you and you made a difference in my life,
and no matter where i go or what i do
i will always remember a breakfast of bake beans, toast, sausauge and eggs with a banana that started it all."

Love Chao Ta
Once a Pisang Forever a Pisang


i NEARLY teared.
KEY-WORD : NEARLY.


**ps. did i tell tat i tink Livejournal is weird?
LET ME TELL U!
i tried adding a comment for my friend..
andandand.. they asked me to CONFIRM tat i am a HUMAN.
like.. hello! would a monkey be typing a comment?
*i got a pic of it! i swear! HAHA!*
NEVERMIND. below they asked me to type wat i see in the box
so tat they can confirm tat i am NOT a SPAM ROBOT.
and.. if i cant read, click HERE for audio hearing.
HAHAHA!
i had to laugh.
first. tat whole spam robot thing was stupid retarded stupid&retarded.
second. if i couldnt read.. i cant click HERE can i?
third. if i couldnt read.. i wont be here right now.

HAHA!

dumbass.

Labels: some things cannot go back

Y 1:32 AM

FRIDAY - 11th May.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TK!

i was oh-so-proud of myself. haha.
me and kannan actually walked all the way from TP to MY HOUSE.
it was like.... 5km? more or less.
andandand.. we didnt sweat tat much... or at all.
haha.

ohhh. actually before tat, we went to haf prata before.
and guess wat!
we only realised when we reached pasir ris...
WE FORGOT TO PAY.

haha. feel damn guilty. haha.
okok. wait. gotta go.
Jo-an is nagging me to go alr. haha

Labels: we emo-ed all night and day

Y 5:32 PM

You called yesterday
To basically say
That you care for me
But that you're just not in love
Immediately I pretended
To be feeling similarly
And led you to believe it was okay
To just walk away from the one thing
That's unyielding and sacred to me

Well, I guess I'm trying to be
Nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to proveI'm fine without you
But in reality, I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath a disguise of a smile
Gradually, I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel
And I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal
The fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise
Till I go home at night
And turn down all the lights
And then I break down and cry

So what do you do
When somebody you're so devoted to
Suddenly just stops loving you
And it seems they haven't got a clue
Of the pain that rejection is putting you through
Do you cling to your pride
And sing "I Will Survive"
Do you lash out and say "How dare you leave this way"?
Do you hold on in vain as they just slip away

Well I guess I'm trying to be
Nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove
I'm fine without you
But in reality, I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath the disguise of a smile
Gradually, I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel
And I lie convincingly
Cause I don't want to reveal
The fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise
Till I go home at night
And turn down all the lights
And then I break down and cry

Break break down, steady breakin' me on down
Break break down, steady breakin' me on down
Break break down, steady breakin' me on down
Break break down, steady breakin' me on down

It'll break ya down
Only if you let it
Everday, crazy situation's rockin' my mind
Tryin' to break me down
But I won't let it (forget it)
I been feelin' like you breakin' me down
Kickin' me round, stressin' me out
I think I better go and get out
And let me relieve some stress
Don't ever wanna feel no pain, pain
Hopin' for the sun but it looks like rain, rain, rain
Lord, I just will not maintain
Oh yeah, often feel the pressures y'all
But never the less crazy won't fall
It's over, it's endin' here

Well I guess I'm trying to be
Nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove
I'm fine without you
But in reality, I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath the disguise of a smile
Gradually, I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel
And I lie convincingly
Cause I don't want to reveal
The fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise
Till I go home at night
And turn down all the lights
And then I break down and cry

tsk tsk. eff-ing emo.

Labels: it'll pass

Y 5:42 PM

okaes. i'm in a BIG dilemma.
shld i run for the main comm elections? or shld i not?
i'm scared. like realllly.
i didnt really entertained the thought of running till now.

Shawn asked me if i was running, and i said no.
i said cuz i tink i cant do work and will crack under stress and like i doubt anyone would vote for me.
and he said something real nice. he said tat if i ran, he would help me campaign. :) SMILES.

although i dunno if he really meant it, but it still made me touched.

how?

i feel tat i cant really do work, yet i tink being in the main comm is a good opportunity.
but i'm REALLY scared tat i wont get ANY votes. hahha.
so malu la.
imagine my name being the last one on the list.
wont noe where to put my face.
heehee. i care alot abt my "face" la. haha.

hmm. i'm gonna sit on this and really tink.

i wont run without joanne Jo-An though.

Y 9:30 PM

these are the THREE ppl who went to Simpang today.
Kannan , ME , Linette.

Labels: it's the simple things in life

Y 3:04 AM

was late for lecture today.
haha. WWAAAIITTT!
it wasnt TOTALLY my fault. haha.
helped Joanne and Gabe print notes.
i was pretty unlucky today. :(
was in lecture for like half an hour max.,
when it ended.
AND TAT WAS MY THE END OF MY SCHOOL DAY.
haha. waste of time laa.

ANYWAE. met my Ah Beng Pisang brother - TK to go Bugis.
heehee. he DROVE. hahaha.
accompanied him to cut his hair.
i wasn't very good company.
i kept falling asleep.
oh no no. not in the car.
hehs. in the Salon. haha.
whatever. haha.
ANYWAE. after cutting, TK bought for me some *yucky* Strepsils Cough Mixture and water.
although it tasted yucky, it was VERY nice of him to do tat.
esp. since my cough is not TAT bad.
but anyhow, i love my pisang brother to bits. :))

ANYWAE. after Bugis, decided to go to the Pet Farm at Pasir Ris.
had to get some stuff for Joanne's rabbits.
**heehee. i secretly named them Salt & Pepper. couldnt pronounce the names Joanne gave them. heehee**
we drove around trying to find the place.
hahah. i noe. my sense of directions sucks la.
but TK the great found it. haha.
got rabbit shampoo for the rabbits.
the puppies ae soo cute. OMGOODNESS.
i'm sooo gonna get a dog when i'm older.
soo. after tat, went to Downtown for some SUBWAY. *LOVES:)*
and TK sent me home.
aye. THANX TK FOR EVERYTHING! LOVES:)

Labels: family day

Y 1:04 AM

there's this man and woman.
this man and woman are married.
every morning this married man and woman comes down to the busstop.
the woman is a working lady, the man is a house-band.
the house-band walks his working wife to the busstop and waits for the bus with her.
when the bus arrives, the house-band and the working wife shares a lil' kiss, a hug and an i-love-u look.
working wife boards the bus, and house-band waits till bus leaves, waving till he can't see the bus no more.

aren't they sweet?
i'm jealous.
*pouts*

Labels: it's these little things tat make ppl smile

Y 11:55 PM

i haf to vent my fustrations somewhere.
and it's gonna be here.
am i ready for any relationships now?
i mean, definitely i WANT one, cuz to haf the feeling tat someone is there for u and all. a special person.
but am i READY for one?
and even if i am ready, are u gonna be the one?
yeahs. u do hold a special place in my heart.
but i can't possibly imagine how u could use someone to tat extent.
how u could be soo mean to her.
i noe u haf ur reasons.
but the reasons u told me sound like bullshit. i'm serious.
if u didnt want a patch, why couldnt u just tell her no?
what EXACTLY is the logic behind patching wif her if u haf absolutely no feelings for her?
and if u could do this to her, why not me?
why shld i not tink tat u may put me in that same position?
okaes. let's not talk abt putting the blame on u.
let's talk the person i noe the best. me.
let's say i dun care abt all tat.
and i accept u back.
i dun tink i am ready for it.
i still like my freedom.
and i am soo scared tat i will do to u, the same thing i did to u den.
and after tat whole "JP" incident, i won't put myself or anyone thru the same thing again. it hurts.
and not only tat.
another person shares my heart with u. let's just call him "eyecandy"
and because of this, it's a definite no-no to go into a relationship.
i dun trust myself to be entirely faithful.
to say truthfully, i haf slight hopes for this "eyecandy".
though i noe tat there is like only a 1% chance for anything.
but.. this isnt fair to u either way.
#1. i accept u back, but leaves u for him.
#2. i dun accept u back YET, and wait and see. "eyecandy" dun want me, i accept u.
that would be damn bad of me.
it would be using u as a substitute. and i am really sick of screwing up all my relationships tat i just want to haf a nice, good, long-lasting, loving one.
so till den.. i'm just going to wait and see.
u dun haf to wait for me.
but i ask of u, not to be so mean to her.
be with her if u like/love her.
dun be with her just for the sake of being with her.
if there is any fate between us, time will see.
after all,
what is meant to be urs, will be urs.

Labels: angry, confused, hurt, sad

Y 2:19 AM